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WILLIAM STUBBS Seventeen lectures on the study of medieval and modern history and kindred subjects

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WILLIAM STUBBS
Seventeen lectures on the study of medieval and modern history and kindred subjects
page 447



XVII.] GOOD-BYE. 44* detected or suspected a lack of sympathy : somehow the adage ' melior est conditio prohibentis ' does come to be confused with or to be interpreted into the policy of'How not to do it' : perhaps I have tried to work too much in my own way and too little in theirs. Then too, I have never been able to reconcile myself with smoking, late hours, dinner parties, Sunday breakfasts, or University sermons : nor is Joe Pullen's tree such a land-mark in my life as it might very well be to the benefit of my constitution. I will say no more about informal instruction ; I think that need not be remembered against me; if I am not mistaken, I have read over many proof-sheets and my name appears as the name of a helper in many prefaces. Well, so much for my apologia and confession ! for want of zeal, for weakness of temper, for occasional absence of discretion, I do ask pardon of all whom I may have offended, or disappointed or misunderstood. I do not mind under the circumstances being called sentimental; I feel sentimental. I confess that I do hope that you will remember me kindly ; and I wish to be judged, as I have tried to judge other historical personages, according as I have acted or have not acted up to my lights. I know that I have not been much of an organiser ; I dislike to organise for other people, I still more dislike other people to organise for me ; I have a great dislike of hard and fast rules, I would not so rule other people, I should still more dislike to have such rules made for me. If there is any virtue in this love of freedom, do not think that I am blind to the drawbacks which beset it. Only all men have not the same gifts, and happily all men are not set to the. same tasks, even Professors under schedules. Please to think of me as of one who, very conscious of his own shortcomings, and wanting, consciously wanting, in many of the instincts of the successful Academic administrator, still tried to do his duty ; tried to maintain for History its proper


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